Most people are in the habit of using their personality as a yardstick to accessing other people's personality. That is wrong in every ramification!
That you're not disciplined enough to maintain a healthy conversation with the opposite sex "without catching feelings" doesn't mean others will subscribe to your composition. That you're not disciplined enough to look away from that beautiful nanny when you and wifey are having confrontations will warrant another hubby to look in the direction of his nanny.
The above differences and much more which are too many to be outlined are termed "individual differences."
In truth, positive traits don't come easy, they go hand in gloves with a lot of self discipline and strict adherence to the word of God.
More so, individual weaknesses vary as well, just like individual strengths or capabilities vary. That you have a lot of complex issues/insecurities going on doesn't mean the 'guy or babe' next door is suffering from your mental illness.
Every human is born mortal and is exposed to positive and negative traits/composition because the mortal nature encompasses the knowledge of the good and evil. *The forbidden fruit rings a bell to you right?
Figure out your weakness(es) and consciously indulge discipline through God's extravagant assistance. It's a conscious work and walk.
Have a Fab day.
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